Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Saturday (scratch that, it's Friday night!), liberation or imprisionment?

Upcoming Event: discharge from hospital (been here since Oct.27, you do the math) Loopy has had to consult with the social worker here to sort out the bills already!

Irrational Fear associated with Upcoming Event: will move from cushy hospital rehab unit where my every whim is acted on by cheery, sometimes gorgeous young women to our new apartment which, while lovely, does not come with nursing staff or housekeeper. Who will bring me my breakfast, refill my water pitcher, and make my bed?

Rational (?) Fear associated with Upcoming Event: could possibly fall using walker in the apartment and lie on the floor until Loopy comes home from work. Hopefully this will occur in the late afternoon and I'll only be on the floor for an hour or two. This of course, is highly unlikely since I have never fallen using the walker here in rehab (been here a week and a half) and yesterday I spent some time with the physical therapist (torturer) getting on the ground and getting up again. It wasn't either painful or difficult. So, I guess this should be labeled irrational. See, now is when I wish I had another blog program that lets you cross out words and replace them with other words. I wish that a lot. If anyone knows how to do that in Blogger, please, please, let me know!

Rational Fear (2) associated with Upcoming Event: I'll spend all day napping, watching TV talk shows and eating those little 100 calorie bags of Doritos, thus atrophying my brain and increasing my waistline. This one is very rational, believe me. Must get back to work. Must engage brain with academic writing soon, maybe gradually :) Must find a way to exercise safely to keep up the great weight loss of 2005 (reached a new low yesterday, yay!, even hospital food is good for something)

Rational Fear (3): that Loopy and I will spend so much time together that we'll be right smack back in counseling which I detest. I don't' detest the LIF (little italian friend), nor do I detest the resulting progress toward having a real, adult, loving relationship. It's the process that kills me! Must get Loopy out of the house. Must find things to do that preserve sense of self and maintain sanity.

So folks, that's the workings of my twisted brain this morning. Progress continues, body responds to treatment, to increased painkillers and to the torturer who daily dreams up new and insidious ways to make me move muscles with nerves that aren't really at their best these days. Yesterday I had to put pegs in boards, washers on a tower of rings, and play with this super stiff silly putty stuff called "Air-Putty." That's just for the upper body rehab. The lower body rehab is so ridiculous that sometimes I think they're teaching me to tap dance.

And, I promise, this blog will regain its focus on griping, complaining and raging about the general state of the world, academia and knitting. Hang in there, faithful readers, all three of you!

xoxo,
sep

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